It only took us seven years of marriage, but my husband and I are finally doing our best to start dating again. And let me tell you… it’s been quite the journey.
I remember the first time we decided to be intentional about dating each other again. We sat across from each other at our usual pizza place (because let’s be real, when you have kids, you go where they have crayons), and it felt… awkward? Like, who is this person I’ve been sharing a bathroom with for years? We’d gotten so caught up in the daily grind of marriage, kids, work, and life that we’d forgotten how to just… be together without discussing whose turn it was to take out the trash.
Those early “dates” were honestly a bit forced. We’d sit there making small talk like we were strangers on a first date, asking each other questions we thought we should already know the answers to. But here’s what I discovered: even after years of marriage, there’s always more to learn about each other. My husband told me about dreams he’d never shared, and I found myself laughing at his jokes again instead of just rolling my eyes (okay, I still roll my eyes sometimes).
The beautiful thing is, it gets easier. What started as scheduled, slightly uncomfortable dinner dates has evolved into something we actually look forward to. We’ve learned to be present with each other again, to put down our phones, and to remember why we fell in love in the first place. Not every date is magical – sometimes we’re tired, sometimes we argue about directions, and sometimes we just enjoy comfortable silence – but that’s real life, and that’s okay.
Now we try to date each other at least twice a month, and honestly? Our marriage is stronger for it. We’re not just roommates splitting bills and parenting duties anymore. We’re partners, friends, and yes… we’re still attracted to each other (even when I haven’t washed my hair in three days).
Why Dating Your Spouse Might Feel Weird at First (And That’s Totally Normal)
Let’s get real for a minute. If you’re reading this thinking, “Dating my spouse sounds nice in theory, but we barely talk about anything other than schedules and kids,” I get it. When you’ve been married for a while, intentional romance can feel forced or even silly.
Here’s the thing though – it might feel awkward because you’re out of practice, not because it’s wrong. Think about it: when you were dating originally, you put effort into spending quality time together. You planned activities, you dressed up a little, you were curious about each other. Marriage doesn’t mean that need for connection disappears; it just means life gets in the way.
Don’t put pressure on yourselves to recreate your honeymoon phase. The goal isn’t to pretend you’re newlyweds again – it’s to be intentional about nurturing the relationship you have now. Some dates will be amazing, some will be just okay, and some might even be disasters (like the time we tried mini golf and spent the entire time bickering about his “technique”). The point is showing up for each other consistently.
For those deeper conversations that can strengthen your bond even further, consider exploring some philosophical questions together during your dates.
47 Creative Date Ideas That Actually Work for Married Couples
Okay, here’s where the fun begins! I’ve organized these ideas by category so you can find something that fits your mood, budget, and energy level. Mix and match, or use these as inspiration to create your own adventures.
Cozy At-Home Dates (Perfect for When You Can’t Get a Sitter)
1. Cook a new cuisine together – Pick a country you’ve never visited and attempt to recreate authentic dishes. Bonus points if you dress up according to the culture and play traditional music.
2. Have a wine or beer tasting night – Get several different varieties, create scorecards, and pretend you’re sophisticated. Warning: this gets silly fast, which is half the fun.
3. Build a living room fort – Yes, you’re adults. Yes, this is ridiculous. Yes, you should absolutely do it anyway. Add string lights and order takeout to eat inside your fortress.
4. Learn something new on YouTube together – Salsa dancing, magic tricks, origami, or even how to solve a Rubik’s cube. The key is picking something you’ll both be terrible at initially.
5. Have a themed movie marathon – Pick a genre, decade, or actor and commit to the bit. Make themed snacks and drinks to match.
6. Play board games or card games – Rediscover the joy of friendly competition. Just maybe avoid Monopoly if you want to stay married.
7. Give each other massages – Set up a spa-like atmosphere with candles, soft music, and oils. Take turns being the masseuse and just focus on relaxing together.
If you need some fun conversation topics during these cozy nights in, try some interesting topics to talk about to keep things engaging.
Adventure & Outdoor Dates
8. Go hiking or nature walking – Find a new trail you’ve never explored. Bring snacks and make it a mini adventure, even if it’s just a local park.
9. Try geocaching – It’s like a real-life treasure hunt using GPS coordinates. Download the app and see what hidden gems are near you.
10. Go stargazing – Find a spot away from city lights, bring blankets, and download a stargazing app to identify constellations. Cheesy but surprisingly romantic.
11. Have a picnic somewhere unexpected – Not just a park, but maybe a rooftop, by a lake, or even in your backyard if you make it special with good food and atmosphere.
12. Go for a bike ride – Explore your town from a different perspective. Stop at interesting places along the way for photos or snacks.
13. Try a new sport together – Tennis, bowling, rock climbing, or even something quirky like ax throwing. The point is to be beginners together.
14. Go to a farmer’s market – Make it a date by trying samples, buying ingredients for a meal you’ll cook together later, and enjoying the atmosphere.
Cultural & Learning Dates
15. Visit a museum you’ve never been to – Art, history, science, or even quirky local museums. Many have special evening events or exhibits.
16. Attend a live performance – Local theater, comedy shows, concerts, or even high school performances. Live entertainment hits differently than Netflix.
17. Take a class together – Pottery, cooking, dancing, or art classes. Many community centers offer one-time workshops perfect for date nights.
18. Go to a trivia night – Find a local restaurant or bar that hosts trivia. You’ll discover random things about each other’s knowledge base.
19. Explore a new neighborhood – Pick an area of your city you’ve never really explored and spend the evening wandering, trying new restaurants, or shopping.
20. Visit a bookstore – Browse separately, then share interesting finds with each other. Maybe buy each other a book recommendation.
For some great trivia preparation, check out these general knowledge trivia questions to test your knowledge together.
Seasonal & Holiday Dates
21. Apple picking or berry picking (Fall) – Embrace the season with classic autumn activities, then bake something together with your haul.
22. Ice skating or sledding (Winter) – Channel your inner child and don’t worry about looking graceful. Hot chocolate afterward is mandatory.
23. Beach day or lake day (Summer) – Even if you just sit and read together, being near water is relaxing and romantic.
24. Flower garden or botanical garden visit (Spring) – Perfect for when everything is blooming and you want to get outside without too much physical activity.
25. Holiday light displays (Winter holidays) – Drive around looking at decorations, or visit special holiday events in your area.
26. Outdoor festival or fair – Most communities have seasonal festivals. Embrace the slightly cheesy fun of carnival games and fair food.
Food & Drink Adventures
27. Progressive dinner – Hit multiple restaurants for different courses, or even different food trucks for a varied culinary adventure.
28. Breakfast for dinner date – Go to a diner at 7 PM and order pancakes. There’s something delightfully rebellious about breakfast food after dark.
29. Food truck hopping – Find several food trucks and sample different options. Perfect for indecisive couples who want to try everything.
30. Coffee shop crawl – Visit multiple coffee shops in one day, trying different drinks and rating them. Great for a laid-back Saturday afternoon.
31. Cooking competition at home – Give yourselves the same basic ingredients and see who can create the better dish. Make it silly and fun, not actually competitive.
32. Happy hour hunting – Find restaurants with unique happy hour specials and appetizers you’ve never tried.
Active & Energetic Dates
33. Go-kart racing or mini golf – Embrace your competitive sides in a low-stakes environment. Loser buys ice cream afterward.
34. Bowling – It’s classic for a reason. Most bowling alleys have evolved beyond just lanes – many have arcade games, food, and fun atmospheres.
35. Trampoline park – Yes, they make these for adults now. It’s a surprisingly good workout and guaranteed to make you both laugh.
36. Pool or billiards – Find a nice pool hall or sports bar and spend the evening playing games and talking.
37. Dance class drop-in – Many studios offer drop-in classes for beginners. Salsa, swing, or country line dancing – pick your adventure.
38. Arcade or Dave & Busters – Rediscover the joy of skee-ball and air hockey. Collect tickets for ridiculous prizes like you’re kids again.
Need some conversation starters for your active dates? Try these this or that questions to learn more about each other’s preferences.
Intimate & Romantic Dates
39. Sunset watching – Find a spot with a good view and just sit together as the day ends. Bring snacks and maybe a bottle of wine.
40. Couples massage – Either book professional massages or create a spa experience at home with candles, music, and massage oils.
41. Private movie night – Not just Netflix on the couch, but create a real movie theater experience with dimmed lights, special snacks, and no interruptions.
42. Love letters or appreciation notes – Spend time writing each other heartfelt letters, then read them aloud. Keep them to read again later.
43. Memory lane tour – Visit places that are significant to your relationship: where you first met, had your first date, got engaged, etc.
Social & Group Dates
44. Double date with friends – Sometimes having other people around removes pressure and creates a fun, relaxed atmosphere.
45. Game night with other couples – Host or attend game nights where you can socialize and play together.
46. Group activities – Join other couples for activities like escape rooms, paint nights, or sporting events.
47. Community events – Attend local events, festivals, or activities where you can meet new people while spending time together.
For more ideas on connecting with your partner through questions, explore these deep topics to talk about that can enhance any date experience.
7 Game-Changing Tips for Successful Married Dates
Before we dive into the fun stuff, let me share some practical wisdom I’ve learned from our dating journey (and a few spectacular failures):
1. Put the phones away – seriously. I know, I know. We’re all addicted. But nothing kills the mood like your husband scrolling through work emails while you’re trying to share a funny story about your day. Make a pact: phones go in the purse or stay in the car.
2. Don’t make every date about “us.” Sometimes the best dates are just having fun together without analyzing your relationship. Laugh at a comedy show, get competitive at mini golf, or try something completely new. Connection happens naturally when you’re enjoying each other’s company.
3. Take turns planning. This removes the “I don’t care, what do you want to do?” dance that ends with both of you scrolling Netflix on the couch. Alternate who plans the date, and the other person just shows up with a good attitude.
4. Budget doesn’t have to break the bank. Some of our best dates have cost less than $20. A picnic in the park, a hike, or even grocery shopping together (but like, making it fun with weird challenges) can be just as connecting as expensive dinner dates.
5. Be present, not perfect. Maybe you’re wearing yoga pants and haven’t done your hair. Maybe he’s tired from work and not his most charming self. That’s real life, and real love means showing up even when you’re not at your best.
6. Start small and build. If you haven’t dated in years, don’t jump into elaborate weekend getaways. Start with coffee dates or short activities and work your way up to longer adventures.
7. Give each other grace. You’re both going to feel rusty at first. You might run out of things to talk about, or feel self-conscious, or just be tired. That’s normal. Keep showing up anyway.
Looking for some conversation starters for your dates? Check out these questions for couples to help spark meaningful discussions.
The Real Goal: Connection, Not Perfection
Here’s what I’ve learned after months of intentionally dating my husband again: the point isn’t to have perfect dates or recreate the butterflies of early romance. The point is to consistently choose each other, to be curious about who your partner is becoming, and to create new memories together.
Some of our dates have been absolutely magical – like the time we got caught in a rainstorm during a hike and ended up laughing and kissing under a tree like we were in a movie. But some have been just okay, like the painting class where we both created terrible art and spent most of the time people-watching. And some have been minor disasters, like the escape room that stressed us both out and ended with us arguing about puzzle-solving strategies.
But you know what? We showed up. We spent time together. We learned something new about each other (even if it was just that we’re both terrible under pressure in escape rooms). Every single date, good or bad, was an investment in our marriage.
If you’re feeling disconnected from your spouse, or if you can’t remember the last time you had a conversation that wasn’t about logistics, I encourage you to start dating again. Start small – maybe just a coffee date where you actually talk to each other. Put your phones away, be present, and remember that this person chose to build a life with you.
Your marriage is worth the effort. You’re worth the effort. And I promise, even if it feels awkward at first, it gets easier and more natural with practice.
Now I want to hear from you! What are your favorite date ideas as a married couple? Have you tried any of these, or do you have other creative ideas that have worked for your relationship? Drop a comment below and let’s help each other keep the spark alive in our marriages! 💕